Day 40: I wrote one of the stupidest poems I've written in my life, which is saying something. But since everyone's pride needs a little pounding once in a while, I'll go ahead and post it:
The night you left you broke a piece off of your soul
and tucked it in my pocket. It's like you knew
your ghost would haunt my memory anyway
and you just wanted to help things along.
Well, I took that piece of you
and I ground it under my shoe.
I cut it into pieces and smashed it flat.
I burned it into ashes, but the smoke that rose
just hovered in the air, and did not dissipate.
You will not leave me, even once you're gone.
But what you don't know, what you can't have figured out yet
is what I gave to you on that very same night.
I wrote a curse upon your shadow, letters silvery and small
and hard to really catch sight of in dimness.
But it's there, a breath away from you for the rest of your days:
You'll never again know a love as true as this.
Day 41: I wrote a post over on my other blog and counted that as my good madness. Check it out HERE.
Day 42: While at my cleaning job I occasionally fill the quiet of working in an empty building by singing. This can be embarrassing when it turns out the building isn't actually empty, but fortunately that wasn't the case here. I came up with a song, but I haven't had the chance to record it properly yet:
This is the part of the story when everything seems black
Like there’s nothing left to hope for, and no way to turn back
This is the part where you know in your heart that you’re never going to win
This is the point where no one would blame you if you just gave in
This is the part of the story where things are just as bad as they seem
When you pinch yourself, desperately hoping you’ll wake from a terrible dream
This is the part where you know in your heart that your deepest fears have arrived
That nothing you’ve fought for has made it through, and no one you love has survived.
But I’m tired of living my life like it’s somebody else’s plaything
I want to fight back. I want to stand up. I want to shout and sing.
So maybe I’m not going to make it
That’s something I’ll just have to see
But for now I refuse to accept that it’s over.
You haven’t seen the last of me.
There are plenty of tales where the good guys prevail and evil’s wiped out in the end
But all of those stories, while lovely, are incomplete.
Because what they don’t tell you, what nobody tells you, is that it could have gone the other way.
No one’s “happily ever after” is guaranteed.
Which is why in that part of the story where the world seems most grim and bleak,
When you’re struggling to find one shred of hope, when you’re weary and heartsick and weak
It’s at this very part that you must trust your heart, that bit deep inside that says “fight.”
It may all end very badly, but it might just be alright…
I’m tired of living my life by someone else’s rules.
I want to fight back. I want to stand up. To show them that I am no fool.
So maybe I’m not going to make it
That’s something I’ll just have to see
But for now I refuse to accept that it’s over.
You haven’t seen the last of me.
So what does the next chapter hold, I wonder?
I hope I’m around to see.
But for now I refuse to accept that it’s over.
You haven’t seen the last of me.
Day 43: Continuing on the song theme, I wrote a wizard rock song called "Under the Stairs." Again, I don't have a recording yet but here are the lyrics:
Their words are sticks,
the lies are stones
You wish they’d leave you
well enough alone
You’ve learned to take it, but
you can’t help thinking
“When’s it going to stop?”
You tell the spiders in your cupboard
that you do not care—
but I know better
‘cause I’ve been there
Under the stairs
Trampled underfoot
Neglected and forgotten
Feeling rotten
and like nothing good could ever happen
But Harry don’t despair
For change is in the air
A correspondence on its way to you, addressed
“Under the Stairs.”
Your Uncle Dursley
seems in such an awful hurry
to get you and his whole family out
so you can’t find out what it’s all about
Those crazy owls dropping
letters by the dozens at your door
All say “To Harry”
Kinda scary
You’re not hidden anymore
Under the stairs
Trampled underfoot
Neglected and forgotten
Feeling rotten
And like nothing good could ever happen
But Harry—all that’s changed,
Someone out there knows your name
They knew somehow that you were waiting there
under the stairs
Counting down the seconds til another birthday
You have no idea how much is about to change
“Harry, yer a wizard,” is what the stranger says
But what it sounds like when it hits your ears
is “You’re finally going to make it out of here…”
Under the stairs
You don’t have to hide away
I see you grinning,
Head is spinning
Your adventures are all just beginning
It won’t be easy
But it’s worth it—you will see
Magic awaits you if you dare
To come out from under there
You will never again have to dwell
under the stairs.
Day 44: Today I brought out my cheap dollar-store watercolors and painted a few outfits for a paper doll.
The Fairy Princess Dress
The Red Riding Hood Look
Weird Pink and Purple Dress, and my favorite...
The Ballerina.
Day 45: In May, we'll be having young adult author (and Charlotte resident) Carrie Ryan come to speak at our library branch. If you're unfamiliar, she writes books with a unique take on the whole zombie apocalypse genre. I really enjoyed her first two books, The Forest of Hands and Teeth and The Dead-Tossed Waves, and her third in the series is due out in March. You can check out her website HERE for more info. Anyway, in order to get people excited for her visit my branch manager wanted to do a presentation about her for the Teen Advisory Board, a group of teens who meet monthly to discuss what kind of events they'd like for us to have at the library. But as a part of this presentation she wanted to have something she could give them with information about Carrie and a brief synopsis of each book. So for today's Good Madness I threw together a quick bookmark. Unfortunately I didn't have the foresight to print one out for myself, and since it's a Microsoft Publisher file it won't work on my computer at home. So you'll just have to trust me on this one.
Day 46: In yet another library-related project I've had to cut three-inch squares out of a variety of colors of paper for an event my coworker Kim is in charge of later this week. The problem with cutting 3 inch squares out of 8.5 by 11 inch paper is that it leaves an "L" shape of leftover paper for every six squares you cut. I didn't want to let that go to waste, so I made it into a chain counting down the days (147 right now) until LeakyCon, the Harry Potter conference I'll be going to in July. I used red, yellow, green, and blue to represent Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw, respectively, and added purple for Sundays. Unfortunately I didn't realize quite how long it would be by the time I finished, so it's taken over my room a bit:
Above is where the chain ends by my bedroom door. This is the end I'll be removing links from as I count down. But it snakes up from there and over the window...
...before finally ending at the picture frame on the other side of the room. That's a lot of time! Hopefully I won't get sick of it before then.
There's plenty more madness to be had in the days ahead. Hopefully next time I'll have some more inspired things to share!
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